“Will you marry me?” is a question that will last a lifetime. If you want to propose perfectly and hear “I do!”, you need to do a lot of preparation before asking the question. But don’t be afraid, refer to these common tips and complete the proposal in a few simple steps.
1. Choose a time and place to propose
Have you decided to propose? Many dating sites will advise you to start planning by picking a time and place to propose: Is there a place close to home (or a romantic setting) that means something to you and your partner? Is there a date that’s important to both of you? Or do you want to propose during a special trip, holiday, or family gathering? Picking a location and a day will make your wishes concrete and allow you to plan for your ultimate goal. Give yourself plenty of time to plan, including researching and shopping for an engagement ring. Only you can judge how much time you need, but remember that researching and shopping for an engagement ring usually takes at least a few weeks—and longer if you decide to design your own ring.
2. Start thinking about engagement rings
Whether it’s a traditional proposal or a unique one, there’s one thing they all have in common: an engagement ring. It can be set with diamonds, colored gemstones, a combination of gemstones, or no gemstone at all. But if you want a lasting symbol of your commitment, a ring is the way to go.
The engagement ring, a symbol of marriage intention, dates back more than 2,000 years or more. In 1477, Archduke Maximilian of Austria proposed to Princess Mary of Burgundy, and the first recorded diamond engagement ring was born. Starting in the 1860s, the discovery of large quantities of diamonds in South Africa paved the way for modern diamond engagement rings, which were no longer exclusive to the nobility and the wealthy middle class. Today, diamonds appear in more than 80% of wedding ceremonies.
A diamond and sapphire nestle romantically together in this Victorian-era engagement ring.
Diamond engagement rings are now a universal symbol of everlasting love and marriage. Diamonds are the hardest gemstones, formed deep in the earth a billion years ago or more. When you get to know diamonds , you’ll know they’re the perfect choice for an engagement ring, with unmatched brilliance, fire and sparkle when cut properly.
If you’re ready to propose but can’t afford a diamond engagement ring yet, or want to choose one with your significant other, a placeholder engagement ring is a great solution. A placeholder ring is a temporary stand-in for a diamond engagement ring. You can use a diamond simulant , such as cubic zirconia, as the center stone, borrow an item from a family member, make it yourself, or anything else you can choose with care.
3. Set a budget for a diamond engagement ring and buy it according to your budget
Of all our proposal tips, this one is for your wallet. The idea of spending one, two, or three months’ salary on a diamond engagement ring dates back to a marketing scheme that began in the 1930s, but there is really no standard amount to spend. Determine your budget, and then shop around that number. When you start shopping, you’ll find that there are beautiful diamond engagement rings for any budget. So, there’s no need to add unnecessary financial stress. You can find a diamond engagement ring that your significant other will love.
If your loved one wants a diamond with lots of sparkle, she might like this engagement ring.
4. Learn about engagement ring styles and diamond quality
Choosing a diamond engagement ring can be daunting, and it’s a considerable investment—and you’ll want to pick a ring she’ll love.
For inspiration, start by browsing a variety of engagement rings online to see different ring styles, diamond shapes and sizes, and prices.
As you browse, you’ll quickly discover information about the 4Cs: Color , Clarity , Cut , and Carat Weight . These are the four factors that have the greatest impact on a diamond’s price. Therefore, it’s worth investigating these factors and how to assess each quality factor.
When researching online, you’ll come across a lot of searches for GIA-graded diamonds . These are diamonds that have been independently graded by GIA, a nonprofit research and education organization that sets the 4Cs and global standards for diamond grading. Take the time to learn about GIA diamond grading reports , and you’ll want to buy diamonds with GIA reports. GIA reports are an unbiased assessment of the diamond’s quality, so they tell you everything about the diamond you’re buying.
Buying a diamond is a balancing act, and unless you have an unlimited budget, you have to make trade-offs. Do you want the biggest diamond you can afford? The most sparkle? The highest color grade? You have to prioritize the 4Cs and decide which C is most important to you and the bride-to-be.
The round brilliant is the most popular diamond cut for engagement rings and is perfect for those who love a timeless, traditional style. If you’re looking for a round brilliant cut diamond that truly sparkles, make sure the diamond has a GIA Excellent cut grade.
5. Choose a ring that matches her taste, not yours
An engagement ring is something she’ll wear every day of her life, so it needs to be a perfect complement to who she is. Diamond engagement rings are so plentiful that it can be overwhelming. The best approach is to focus on her and her personal style. Is she traditional? Is she a minimalist? Does she like modern styles? Does she like to be different? Also pay attention to the metal color of the jewelry she wears. Is it primarily yellow, white, rose, or platinum? This can help you narrow down your search for the perfect diamond engagement ring.
Does your sweetheart follow the latest trends? She might be smitten with this pear-shaped diamond engagement ring set in rose gold, with a halo of melee diamonds in the V-shaped band. Image courtesy of Brilliant Earth
If your loved one is a traditionalist, this Edwardian ring featuring a 2.02 ct diamond might be the perfect choice.
If you’re still unsure, ask her friends or family for advice; they may be able to help you find a diamond engagement ring that best suits her style. Likewise, if you want to involve your significant other in the ring selection (but still want to surprise her when you propose), consider a placeholder ring .
For placeholder rings, you can select the ring style, metal material, and other elements from a fixed menu.
6. Choose and make friends with jewelers
It’s rare to find two diamonds that look exactly alike, and subtle differences in color, clarity, cut, and carat weight can make a diamond look different under the same viewing environment. That’s why you can’t just research engagement rings online—you need to see diamonds in person to find the one you want.
Don’t be afraid to walk into a jewelry store and ask questions; you’ll find a knowledgeable and patient jeweler or salesperson. They’ll walk you through your options and explain how the 4Cs, quality factors, and size affect the price of the diamond you’re looking at. They’ll also help you learn more about engagement ring styles and find options that fit your expectations and budget. A knowledgeable jeweler is professionally trained, and he or she will most likely display a GIA diploma in the store.
Tip: You can use the GIA Retailer Lookup to find a jeweler in your area who offers GIA-graded diamonds or has GIA-trained staff.
The princess cut is the second most popular diamond shape, second only to the round brilliant. Your bride-to-be might fall in love with this 2.16 ct princess cut diamond engagement ring set in 18K yellow gold.
7. What to say and how to say it? Make the proposal romantic
A romantic proposal sounds like a no-brainer, but when you get caught up in the process of planning a proposal and buying an engagement ring, it’s easy to overlook the romantic side of things. A proposal is a once-in-a-lifetime event, a moment that you and your significant other will remember forever.
Start by browsing sites like How He Asked for inspiration. Some proactive fiancés want to make the proposal a splashy affair, involving family and friends — even at a baseball stadium filled with fans. Others prefer a more intimate moment — a private moment at a special restaurant, at home, or on a riverside walk (or by the Seine in Paris). Whatever the case, your wording is crucial to getting the response you want.
If you can’t think of a “good idea”, you can look through a book of love poems or search the Internet to find classic romantic declarations. But in the end, you want to express your inner thoughts, think about your relationship with your lover, and think about how special she is to you. Think about the future together and summarize your various ideas; you can also write them down if necessary. But no matter what you say, don’t forget to ask the key question. It’s not a proposal without the question “Will you marry me?”
Should you get down on one knee to propose? This is a relatively new tradition, and it’s up to you how you do it. But getting down on one knee is a romantic gesture that brings to mind a medieval knight asking a lady if he could take her hand. Chances are your girlfriend will love it.
A 3.30 ct Asscher cut diamond flanked by four baguette diamonds is sure to take her by surprise.
Hopefully, these tips will make your big moment easy and memorable. And when she says “yes!”, be sure to share what you’ve learned with friends or colleagues who are just starting to prepare for it.
